Can I get an "Amen"?
I came across this quote the other day on Pinterest and wanted to stand up to do a fist pump. If there is one lesson that is becoming more and more clear as I round the hill closer to 40, it is this.
The people you surround yourself with matter more than almost anything else.
The busier I become in my life with kids and my business, the more precious my time has become. I no longer have time for relationships that drain me or make me question myself or plainly just lower my energy.
Sometimes this means that I need to step out of my comfort zone and create community. Sometimes it means staying home by myself reading an inspiring book rather than going to an obligatory dinner because I don't want to hurt people's feelings. Sometimes it means building friendships online who share common interests.
But in all of it, it includes choice.
When my son was asking me the other day about marriage, I explained to him that he will choose someone that he loves to be around and that he would want to spend time with for the rest of his life. He sat silently for a minute looking out the window and then said, "Mom, I want to marry you." (That boy knows how to make his mom cry!)
But it made me think about how not only do I want to surround myself with inspiring people but how do I BE the person that other people want to be around?
And I do it by surrounding myself with people who up my game. Whether that be in the form of friendships, the clients I choose to work with, the coach I hire to support me, the authors I choose to read or the videos I choose to watch. I am a member of a Lean In Circle with women who are kicking ass in the world and who come together once a month to support each other in our goals and dreams. We call it our own "women's golf course", where deals and dreams happen.
Everything and everyone that you let into your space matters. It shapes you. It affects you. And I am becoming wildly protective of my space.
Take responsibility for the energy you bring." - Jill Bolte Taylor
If you notice that the people around you are not that interesting or inspiring, it's time to look at yourself. Everything starts with ourselves. Make different choices. Think different thoughts. Act from love and not from fear. Pursue what you really love and not what you think will other people think you should be doing.
Make authentic personal growth a priority in your life.
Don't know how to do that? Get guidance.
Inspiration is everywhere.
Love is everywhere.
People are doing very cool things everywhere.
And people are judging people who are doing cool things.
Which one do you want to be around?
There is a theme I have been noticing lately. Both in myself and in my clients.
It is practicing patience.
We want what we want NOW.
The dream job. The partner. The success.
Now. Now. Now.
And why shouldn't we? Everything else we want we get immediately.
Amazon has same day delivery.
We watch an entire tv season by streaming it on our computers in one sitting.
What we want, when we want it.
All of this is wonderful.
How is it hurting us otherwise?
While technology allows things to come to us more quickly, what about experiences?
The experience of love?
Websites like match.com have built a business around this. Want to meet the love of your life? Find them NOW by scrolling through a database to choose from. You could be on a date with them tomorrow!
But can you expedite love?
Can you speed delivery a sense purpose?
And what about success? Can that be overnighted to you?
To answer these questions, I turn to one of my greatest teachers, yoga.
I've been practicing yoga for 12 years now.
And this week, I was able to do a pose for the first time.
It's called Crooked Sage or Eight Angle pose. (Pictured below via yoga journal - not me in the picture!)
I would say that 12 years is a pretty long time to achieve something.
Could I have done this pose in my first year of yoga? Probably not.
It took a whole set of experiences for me to lead up to it.
I had to build strength. Confidence. Determination.
I had to fall down countless times so that I could know exactly what felt right and wrong to get myself up into the pose.
There was no way for me to get into this pose unless I practiced patience.
Unless I trusted that everything comes in due time.
And what about if we look to the greatest life teacher of all?
“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” - Lao-Tzu
Nothing in nature happens immediately.
It is all a process.
Things are nurtured. They take time to grow. There are cycles. Seasons.
How do you apply this to your life today?
How can you practice patience today?
To me, the answer always comes back to trust. Faith.
Walk the path one step at a time.
Do the work.
Trust that what you are meant to discover or achieve or experience awaits you.
It just can't be delivered via Amazon Prime.
“Success is a function of persistence and doggedness and the willingness to work hard for twenty-two minutes to make sense of something that most people would give up on after thirty seconds.” - Malcolm Gladwell from Outliers